If you have ever had someone vanished mid conversation from your life only to pop back into your Dms… After weeks or months later , acting like nothing happened that is- “submarining”.
“If ghosting left you feeling confused , this might just leave you spinning.”
The most recent toxic trend making waves in the dating scene is Submarining.
What Is Submarining
You must have seen submarine : it dips below the surface… disappears from the view, and then randomly resurfaced without warning. That’s exactly what’s happening in the dating world . It’s confusing , unsettling , and worst of all , It’s becoming too common.”
- Submarining happens when someone stops replying, ghosts you entirely and then shows up out of the blue .
No explanation, No apology , just a ” Hey , How have you been ?
Why Do People Submarine
They often crave attention or validation . They are avoidant or emotionally unavailable and Want to leave the door open without commitment. They think they can ‘ comeback without consequences.
How It Messes With Your Head
Firstly you need to understand ” it’s not about you . It’s about them.” When someone resurfaces after vanishing it can stir up : False hope , Old feelings , Self-doubt and Anger followed by guilt for being angry.
What You Can Do
Here’s how to protect your heart :
- First understand, it’s an emotional whiplash and you don’t deserve it .
- Take a Pause – You don’t owe them a reply “. Take your time .
- Set a boundary understanding you are allowed to say no to reconnecting.
- Call it out – Hey , I was surprised to hear from you after all this time . What made you reach out ?
- Watch their actions – Anyone serious will own up to their absence.
Submerining is not flattering. It’s not romantic. And it’s definitely not your responsibility to fix. You deserve consistentency , respect and clear communication.